college. the future. fear. all of the above.

Through the constant hustle and busyness of high school, I never understood how people could determine the future of their lives. "I'm majoring in law and going to The University of Texas", "I'm going into the military", "I'm not going to college but going into the workforce." The rest of your life: This phrase is the scariest thing I've ever heard! I never had enough time to even ponder what I wanted to do, what kind of college I wanted to attend, or even my next meal. I am the 'in the moment' kind of girl, the 'go with the flow'- always here in the present and never taking time to think of the past or future. I have a hard time thinking of the unknown. Because I try to figure it out. But I can't. And it bothers me. Like how is it remotely possible that the universe is never ending? Or where do we really go when we die? Is Heaven for real? I can't even start or I will never stop- just like the universe.

It took me about a year after everyone to figure out what university I'm attending in the Fall of 2017. (This statement is an exaggeration, however, it was after I graduated before I decided if that gives you a visual.) I still have no idea what I am majoring in... I struggle trying to decide how to pick an occupation that won't feel like work. I AM SCARED! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO. I can sit for hours trying to come up with majors but none of them sound appealing enough. I have taken hundreds of phony occupation quizzes online. I am losing hope! Please help me! Some facts about me: I LOVE children! I like helping people! I love making people laugh. I love writing but I'm not good at it. I like eating food. I love solving problems (not math problems though). I don't like blood or anything inside the body. I can't stand rude people. I can't think of anything else now. goodbye.